måndag 15 februari 2010

Clients from hell

Min fina alla hjärtans dag present :) Har inte målat med akvarellfärger sen jag gick en konstnärlig utbildning folkhögskola för massa år sedan. Och gjorde det väl inte i någon större utsträckning då heller. Men skall bli skoj att pröva på igen.

En väldigt roande sida är Clients from hell
Det är en samling inskickade bidrag från yrkesverksamma Designers och några historier från några av deras uppdragsgivare. Mycket roande läsning. Här är några exempel.

Me: Once we decide on a theme, our designer will give you 6 options for you to choose from, and then you will receive two free “Refinements” on the option you chose.
Client: Only 6??? For $500, I thought you were going to give me, I don’t know…like 400 or 500 options.
Me: All of our logos are completely custom. Creating 500 custom logos would cost us over $40,000.
Client: WHAT? Isn’t there some sort of bulk discount? I mean, it’s the exact same logo.

We need to see this person’s face [points to person in photo with their back to a camera]. You need to turn the person around 180 degrees.

Client: This press release you wrote would be better if you included more logos. It needs more logos.
Me: I think the actual content is more important.
Client: No one around here cares what the press release actually says. Just do what I tell you and add more logos.

The logo with the goose and buoy should be the main focus of the ad. Make sure to have some fried chicken legs somewhere. Add a few lady bugs, maybe two or more? The company’s main color is yellow. Also, please make this christmas themed.

I prefer that you create all the designs in Microsoft Word as this is a much better program to work with.

Client: “You’re fired.”
Me: “Why?”
Client: “You printed it upside-down.”
Me: “You’re holding the board upside-down.”

Client: [when briefing a designer] I am not going to tell you anything, because I don’t want to limit your creativity.

“I’m not sure what I want, but I’ll know it when I see it.”

Hang on, if you erase the top of the building in Photoshop, the sky will be behind it, won’t it?

Client, upon looking at photo of a snail: “It doesn’t look slow enough.”

I don’t want gay people looking at the site! can you do it with CSS3?

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